Tuesday, September 25, 2012

In Retrospect


In retrospect, I would have let Nursie rule my life sooner. She is, after all, my inner voice of caution and common sense, similar but not identical to what Freud referred to as the superego.

Nursie is mainly an auditory, as opposed to visual, hallucination. She speaks with a clipped, no-nonsense, grammar- school-educated British accent by which I mean she would be eligible for employment as a governess at Buckingham Palace if such a functionary were needed.

In the past, ignoring Nursie led me down a ruinous road of reckless self-indulgence. No, I will not entertain my modest readership with horrific tales of riotous living and its inevitable consequences. Suffice it to say, that only moments before I became an itinerant bag lady, Nursie broke out of jail and engineered a coup d'etat.

Now she's in charge...well, not all of the time but most of the time. Every once in awhile she takes cat naps. That's when I go online and order books from amazon.com. and pay for them with my credit card. Sometimes Nursie catches me in the act and marches me off to the local library. I have nothing against libraries. They are noble institutions which ensure that everybody, regardless of  their station in life, can become literate and well informed. It's just that I love the smell and feel of a new book, one that I can take down off my bookshelf and read anytime I want.

Another indulgence is buying toys, books, etc., for my youngest grandson. I adore my grandson. I also love toys except for cheap plastic ones that fall apart instantly or ones that talk. My grandson enjoys costumes and I love buying them for him. At this point, he has almost more costumes than he has clothes. As a child, I used to improvise costumes from various discarded items from my family's wardrobe. In those days clothes held up longer and were cast aside mainly because they were no longer in fashion. In these days of planned obsolescence and economic uncertainty, discarded clothing items are useful mainly as kitchen rags.

From all the above, the reader has no doubt ascertained that I am not an actual grown up, despite being more or less in my dotage. It's true, I confess. Some of us are simply incapable of maturity and that's why I have handed the reins of power over to Nursie.

Nursie's  most challenging agenda these days is keeping me away from fat, sweet, salty, delectable foods such as custard-filled maple bars, fried chicken and pizza with multiple toppings.  For the past two weeks she has been mostly successful. "Hmm," she'll intone, as I'm about to reach for a buttered roll, "Quite a few calories in that, I should think."

In summation, if I had let Nursie rule my life sooner, I would be in better physical shape and enjoying a lifestyle further away from the poverty line. I would have a graduate degree in something useful such as civil engineering instead of a useless BA in English literature with a writing emphasis. I would have a robust savings account instead of a  finger puppet collection. I would have fewer wrinkles because I would have stayed out of the sun instead of indulging in fantasies of myself with a bronze tan.

My scarred, besmirched and pitted conscience would be as smooth and as dazzlingly white as new-fallen snow. I would be enjoying a tranquil old age knowing I had led an exemplary life...

...if I had only let Nursie take over  sooner.

11 comments:

  1. Those things are possibly true, but a person needs more books, costumes, and yes, wrinkles in their life.

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    1. Well...Nursie does take cat naps occasionally. As for the wrinkles, I'm afraid they are a done deal.

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  2. You would seriously not change one thing that Nursie might have kept you from doing...I know that is true. Your life would be dry, maybe healthier, but not interesting. You are who you are because you kept Nursie under control until you really needed her to step it up!

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    1. Thanks, Jo. There's certainly some truth to what you say. There are times, however, when Nursie's intervention earlier on might have kept me from saying and/or doing things that hurt other people. However, I'm not entirely unhappy with who I am today and there are still times when Nursie's absence is welcome.

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  3. It is always nice to have that little voice to keep you on the straight and narrow. Sometimes though, you have to cut loose and just live.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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  4. "I would have a robust savings account instead of a finger puppet collection."

    *snort* You've seen both my house and my bank account statements, haven't you?

    Nursie sounds like a pain in the ass. If you ever win the lottery, you can kick her sensible-shoe-wearing self to the curb.

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    1. Ah, the lottery.... If I win it, Nursie will certainly not be telling me how to spend the money.

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  5. Maturity is highly over-rated! I would be a little better off if I had a Nursie to listen to once in awhile. Does she make house calls?

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    1. I'll send Nursie over to you and, while she's gone, I'll stuff my mouth with maple bars.

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  6. Are we suppose to have bank accounts at our age? Wish I had met Nursie sooner.

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  7. I don't know. My bank account looks like money saved by a teenager for cutting lawns. Maybe Nursie should encourage me to use a piggie bank (the kind you have to break to get to the money).

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