I have been informed that either my bachelor's degree or my high school diploma or both are being officially revoked.
A newly-formed Board of Examiners (in character not unlike the Spanish Inquisition) has met and determined that I lack certain requirements -- especially and most importantly in the field of mathematics.
Did I seriously think I was going to get away with graduating summa cum laude having proceeded up the mathematical ladder only as far as Algebra One?
The heretic registrar who told me I could substitute Inferential Statistics for Alegebra Two has been arrested and is in custody awaiting trial.
As for me, I am sentenced to return to high school.
HIGH SCHOOL? What the hell! I am an old woman. Can't I just be grandmothered in?
I carry a stack of heavy books balanced on my left arm as we used to do back in the late fifties. I am climbing an enormous spiral staircase. I cling with my right hand to the banister which is slippery with sweat and lord knows what else. My traditional-age classmates hurry past me, skipping alternate steps while I huff and puff like an old steam engine.
I arrive in class out of breath,and sitting down, turn to a page where numbers have combined with letters from an unknown alphabet to form what might be quadratic equations but might also be something altogether new in the ever-evolving field of mathematics, Perhaps we are required to determine the density of a black hole or estimate the probable number of strings which apparently hold together the universe.
There are directions at the top of the page but they are written in the Cyrillic alphabet and I never studied Russian. No doubt I would find them indecipherable even if they were presented in English.
This is just too damn much! Now in the grip of righteous indignation, I rise, an image of wrath incarnate,from my seat. "I am math disabled," I yell. "I have severe discalcula and you cannot punish me for that! I am awesome in History and English and Languages and you cannot take away my high school diploma and my college degree. You are in violation of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act and I'm suing your sorry asses!"
this is the point where I usually wake up.
I am destined to have this nightmare over and over again. The issue is never resolved.
