GBE: 2 Prompt: If you could live your life over...
I have had difficulty responding to this prompt though I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe because reviewing my past mistakes makes me cringe and feel sick to my stomach.
Mistakes? That sounds too mild, like getting the answer wrong on a math test.
Misdeeds, gross misconduct, sins of commission and omission...not that I believe in sins, at least not in the Biblical sense.
Sometimes I have acted in a way that was harmful to others. I would change that, for certain, if I could.
If I could live my life over, I would not go looking for love in unlikely places; I would be braver, more willing to take risks; I would be more insightful and less self-absorbed.
Since humans are the only species burdened with a conscience, except for maybe dogs, I might choose not to be human at all.
I might like myself better as an osprey. One could do worse than feel the press of air beneath a six-foot wingspan, aim for the clouds, reverse direction and dive, beak arrowing down, turning at the last minute with talons extended to pluck an unwary fish out of the water. Not that the taste of raw fish compels me. It's the flying that appeals, the magnificent adjustable wings commanding the air.
I have no doubt an ornithologist could tell me things about an osprey that would shatter my highly romanticized perspective but I don't want to hear them. In fact, rather than listen, I would stick my fingers in my ears and bellow the national anthem at the top of my lungs.
Sometimes I think I believe in reincarnation but not necessarily as determined by one's karma.
I don't really want to believe in karma because I'm pretty sure that, based on this life's karma, I would not be allowed to come back as an osprey.
More likely, I would return as a lumbering, panicky wildebeest running away from a cheetah or a lioness -- one of a million in a frenzied stampede toward a cliff's edge.
Only after several lives polishing and honing my wildebeest traits would I be allowed to return as an osprey.
But that, you must admit, is something to look forward to.