Sunday, June 17, 2012
Two Days Ago...
Two days ago was pretty much like today. Except that I found out my laptop had a virus -- several viruses in fact. I also discovered that even though comments on my blog posts appeared in my E-Mail, I couldn't actually respond to them via E-Mail. To put it more succinctly, my most recent responses to people's comments have all ended up somewhere in cyber space -- orbiting a central absence like useless asteroid chunks.
"People will think you're rude," my daughter said, "if you don't respond."
I swear, I am not rude. Just incredibly technologically stupid.
Since beginning my blog, I have felt like someone who can't swim trying to stay afloat in ten feet of water. In over your head I believe is the expression.
Sometimes I'm tempted to discard my laptop and take up knitting or return full-time to designing scrap books. These are safe old-lady pastimes that are unlikely to offend or confuse.
How can a ten-inch wide machine with a keyboard and a screen come down with a virus? A virus is a microscopic organism that causes diseases, for heaven's sake! My laptop isn't feverish, so far as I can tell. It does, however, barf up ads and unwanted messages I'm obliged to mop up.
Apparently, the way a computer gets a virus is when the user clicks on something s/he isn't supposed to. How the hell is one supposed to know what's safe to click on and what isn't?
Once upon a time, I scribbled my deathless prose and immortal poems on a steno pad or in a notebook. Later I slipped a piece of paper into my typewriter and typed up the ones I thought might be worth saving. Neither my notebooks nor my typewriter ever came down with a virus. Some pages, though, were lumpy with scattered crusts of white-out. Like Calamine Lotion smeared over random patches of poison oak.
Not that I don't enjoy playing Wordscaper and reading other people's blogs. But is it worth having to click and drag and cut and paste, upload and download, slash and burn, tag and label and twitter and tweet without having the faintest idea what you are actually doing? Is it worth misunderstanding the techno terminology and having people look at you like you had wondered out loud whether people in Spain spoke Spanish?
Long ago I purchased a book entitled Computers for Seniors for Dummies. What I actually need though is the one called Computers for Very Dumb Seniors or an easy reader version of the afore-mentioned books.
"If you hope to be a published writer you absolutely must have a blog." So my friends and relations have instructed me.
Maybe I don't actually want to be a published writer. Or maybe if I do I'll just wait for the world to beat a pathway to my door.