Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Safe Name Amendment

.Reverb Broads June 4 Prompt by Niki:  What did people tease you about growing up?  and
                         June 5 Prompt by Art and Soul:  Come up with a new constitutional amendment

What people used to tease me about was my Welsh name, Bronwyn (short o; y as in short i). I have expressed my suffering and resentment over this in a blog piece called You're Naming Your Kid What! which I hope you will take time to read.

In view of my sixty plus years' experience  being called Bronson or Bronsoon or Brownwin or Bro. Nwyn, the constitutional amendment I am proposing requires that parents select their child's name from a government-approved list of highly-pronouncable, commonly-used, tease-proof names such as Jennifer or Mary or Jane. Resorting to alternatives such as Angharad (I don't care if it means "beloved" in Welsh) or Bartholomew or  Cuthbert or Damaris will result in IMMEDIATE INCARCERTATION (and, no, rich people, you cannot get off by simply paying a fine).

Will this amendment contribute enormously to the common good? Probably not but it will remove a number of potential targets form the vast, victim-strewn field of schoolyard bullying.

In other words, it will do some good and that, my friends, is good enough for me.
Romeo And Juliet
"Oh, come on, Juliet! What's in a name?"


  1. My name, Julia, rhymes with nothing. Until the movie The Wedding Singer came out. Since the age on ten, I've been called Julia Gulia. Now, I embrace the Gulia, but it was not so wonderful in junior high when teachers would take attendance by calling out that name.

  2. My problem wasn't my first name, except for being asked for 3 wishes at times. My last name was Woodhouse, and there was one cruel boy who would call me Outhouse or Woodpecker. To this day, I can't think of this guy without some resentment.

  3. I don't think anyone likes their name. I think it is cruel of people to tease you for it. You didn't choose it after all! The people who annoy me is the ones that name their kid and change the spelling of the name to some completely unheard of ridiculous spelling. :D


  4. I love your name!