Tuesday, June 5, 2012

That High School Nightmare from Hell Again

#ReverbBroads2012 Prompt for Day 2: What gives you nightmares? Also GBE2 Prompt:  High School

I have been informed that either my bachelor's degree or my high school diploma or both are being officially revoked.

A newly-formed Board of Examiners (in character not unlike the Spanish Inquisition) has met and determined that I lack certain requirements -- especially and most importantly in the field of mathematics.

Did I seriously think I was going to get away with graduating summa cum laude having proceeded up the mathematical ladder only as far as  Algebra One?

The heretic registrar who told me I could substitute Inferential Statistics for Alegebra Two has been arrested and is in custody awaiting trial.

As for me, I am sentenced to return to high school.

HIGH SCHOOL? What the hell! I am an old woman. Can't I just be grandmothered in?

I carry a stack of heavy books balanced on my left arm as we used to do back in the late fifties. I am climbing an enormous spiral staircase. I cling with my right hand to the banister which is slippery with sweat and lord knows what else. My traditional-age classmates hurry past me, skipping alternate steps while I huff and puff like an old steam engine.

I arrive in class out of breath,and sitting down, turn to a page where numbers have combined with letters from an unknown alphabet to form what might be quadratic equations but might also be something altogether new in the ever-evolving field of mathematics, Perhaps we are required to determine the density of a black hole or estimate the probable number of strings which apparently hold together the universe.

There are directions at the top of the page but they are written in the Cyrillic alphabet and I never studied Russian. No doubt I would find them indecipherable even if they were presented in English.

This is just too damn much! Now in the grip of righteous indignation, I rise, an image of wrath incarnate,from my seat. "I am math disabled," I yell. "I have severe discalcula and you cannot punish me for that! I am awesome in History and English and Languages and you cannot take away my high school diploma and my college degree. You are in violation of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act and I'm suing your sorry asses!"

this is the point where I usually wake up.

I am destined to have this nightmare over and over again.  The issue is never resolved.


  1. Sorry, no comment, laughing way too hard! You go Granny! ♥

  2. Hahahahaha, I am math disabled too! Lets jointly sue their sorry asses

  3. Math disabled .. rofl .. we can have a whole group here who want to sue their asses. Loved it . <3

  4. Loved this:)LOL,I'm math disabled too!:)

  5. OMG, you really had me going! Holy crap I thought it was real and not just a dream. Great story...so glad it isn't true. I am math disabled too and if they got you they would surely come revoke mine. Breathing a sigh of relief! LOL


  6. This is so funny! Where do I sign up to be declared math disabled? LOL!

  7. Ok, I'm a member of this class too. Forget 101, I barely make it past 10 *grin* Loved this.

  8. Bwahahahaha! If we have to go back, I'll do your math work if you'll do my science stuff. Deal?

  9. HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!! lolol so so hear you...your sight is so right on and all i can think is when you are all done with these thoughts..just think of the people you can help...best teacher around ..yup

  10. I too, fall into the class of math disabled.
    I have always said; "I learned to draw in math class."
    Great blog...off to hit the follow button!

  11. Hilarious! LOL!